Favorite Piper quotes

[HollymCombs]

What are some of your favorite Piper quotes? Post here! Here is one of mine!

Leo: I'm sure all this arguing has got the baby upset.
Piper: Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing, it is upsetting the mommy!

[TutorGirl]

Phoebe: "Hey I forgot your question"
Piper: "I asked it if Prue would have sex with someone other than herself this year."
Phoebe: "That's disgusting..*whispers to spirit board* Please say yes"

Phoebe: "Flying is awesome..it's the landing part that's a bitch!"

Piper: "I'm being stalked by psyco killers and I hide in the shower."

Prue: "Oh...ummm...can you get up?"
Piper: "Back off! What do you think I can't walk now?"
Phoebe: "Honey we're just trying to help you."
Piper: "Help me? You can't even hold a job!"
Prue: "Okay, wait a minute..."
Piper: "Oh save it! Do you always have to be in charge?"

Phoebe: "Okay but we still need to take a trip to the army navy store."
Prue: "For what?"
Phoebe: "A flare gun."
Piper: "Screw you bitch!"

Leo: "Being with Piper breaks the rules, but being without Piper breaks my heart."

Phoebe: "I wish I had dreams like that."
Piper: "Mom would have to knock before she came into your dreams."

Phoebe: "Wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing."

Dan: "Someday, someway, somehow I'm gonna make it through that damn door."

[charmedlover1]

Piper: u saved me cause im your dam wife when u should have saved prue because she was the strongest."

[PiperHalliwellP3]

I like the ones when she is emotial better. But, I love when Prue and Piper are talking about Jack and Dan. I love the "Jack's scum. So is Dan. Are you scum? No I'm not scum. I didn't think think so." Or something of that sort. It's so cute and sisterly.

[AngelPiper1329]

my all time favorite piper quote is from the episode with cupid and prue and piper are mad at dan because drazi did his hate thingy on them prue:"jack is scum" piper:"so is dan" prue:"are you scum?" piper:"no im not scum" (laughs) prue:"i didn't think you were" (laughs along) they are sooooo funny and cute i just love it its my favorite prue quote as well

piper:"phoebe you keep makin like your on rotchu diaries and im gonna have to bust out a can of man repellent"

[TutorGirl]

Leo: Piper, this is completely illegal.
Piper: Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay?
[She holds up his death certificate]
Piper: Let's not get technical now.
Darryl: Piper...
Piper: Uh-huh.
Darryl: You froze the crime scene.
Piper: Uh-huh.
Darryl: You cannot freeze a crime scene.
Piper: Well, I did.

Prue: Okay, how did you get this stuff so fast?
Piper: Oh, I just let my fingers do the walking and the clicking and the... flipping.
Prue: Flipping as in the pages of the Book of Shadows? You used magic?
Piper: Well, yeah, I couldn't wait six to eight weeks for delivery.
Prue: That is so personal gain.
Piper: No, 'cause we need all of this stuff.

[TutorGirl]

Prue: "Oh...ummm...can you get up?"
Piper: "Back off! What do you think I can't walk now?"
Phoebe: "Honey we're just trying to help you."
Piper: "Help me? You can't even hold a job!"
Prue: "Okay, wait a minute..."
Piper: "Oh save it! Do you always have to be in charge?"

Piper: "I'm being stalked by psyco killers and I hide in the shower."

[AngelPiper1329]

Piper: "How about next time I just freeze your head and then maybe I could kick you in the-"
Prue: "Ok!"
Am I okay? Prue is a dog and Phoebe is a banshee. I am not even in the vacinity of okay."
Hey! Witch! Move the trays yourself.
Piper: I'll help. Anything to get rid of her.
Phoebe: You mean him.
Piper: Nah. I mean her.
Leo: Piper, this is completely illegal.
Piper: Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? (She holds up his death certificate.) Let's not get technical now
Piper: No, Leo, I won't. I don't want to do this anymore, okay?
It-It's over! You can tell them that we buried their precious Charmed Ones when we buried our sister
little Prue"your pretty"
Prue"oh your pretty too"
Piper"oh please"
Phoebe: No. According to the Book Of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch, named Melinda Warren.
Piper: And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible.
Piper-I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mum and with you dropping her all the time...
Phoebe-What?
Piper-Why don't they make a card that says 'You used to be my whitelighter and now your wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club.'
Phoebe-Or how about 'You snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked with the neighbor.'
Prue: So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh but you can’t touch a pig’s foot?
Piper: I’m a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when?
Piper: Since now…
*Cooking pot bursts into flames*
Prue: Ooh…
Piper: Poor piggy.
Piper blows up the chair. Cushion stuffing flies everywhere. Cole goes over to it.)
Phoebe: Piper, I think that was Paige's chair.
Piper: Yeah, I know, it was ugly.
lil prue: If you're really family prove it!
Piper: Prove it? How the hell are we...
Prue: Piper!!
lil Piper: Piper!? Your name's Piper too?
Piper:Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick.
Prue:I heard that!
Piper:I love you!
Prue: Bite me!
Piper: Mm-hmm. Your destiny still awaits, she says. There's a reason for everything she says.
So, now it time to summon her transparent butt back and ask exactly what that reason is.
Little Prue: That's my doll.
Little Piper: You gave it to me.
Little Prue: No I didn't. You stole it.
Prue: That's true. You did steal it.
Piper: I did not.
Prue: Yes you did

[AngelPiper1329]

Piper: Lets get this straight, you guys summoned me to a cage where my powers don't work, so we can all die together!
Paige: Well, the plan has some flaws admittedly.
Paige: "Okay, what the hell was that?"
Piper: "I don't know...maybe my baby thought fireworks would be prettier than demon guts."
Paige: "Okay, what the hell was that?" Piper: "I don't know...maybe my baby thought fireworks would be prettier than demon guts." piper:kiss this bitch!
Phoebe: What about a water birth? Can we do that at home?

Eve: Sure, we can rent a tub. Piper: What am I? A dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.
Leo: Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.
Piper: Shut up
Paige:Are you still pregnant?
Piper:(eating ice cream) Yea wher've you been?
piper:you are safe, you are loved, and you are wise
Piper (as spirit): Oh, no. Am I dead again?
7x16 The seven year witch

Piper: I'm sorry. You just lobotomized the love of my life, and you want me to take comfort in what?
7x16 The seven year witch

Piper: Okay. Any ideas?
Phoebe: Oh, I was hoping you'd have some.
Piper: Me? Why me?
Phoebe: Well, because you're the only one who still has any confidence around here.
Piper: Yeah, well, that's just 'cause I'm a good actor.
7x22 Something wicca this way goes

Phoebe: Oh, she's such a pretty dog.
Piper: What else did you expect?
Piper: Oh, honey, watch your orbs.
3x21 Look Who's Barking

Prue: Why do I have to carry the poisonous snake?
Piper: Because you're the oldest.
Prue: So?
Piper: So you've lived a full life.
2x13 Animal pragmatism

Piper: Phoebe, somebody is going to pay you to tell other people what to do. Shut up and be happy.
4x16 The fifth Halliwheel

Piper: You're not really a Halliwell until you've gone demonic on your sisters at least twice.
4x16 The fifth Halliwheel

Paige: How long do you think Phoebe's going to spend down there, anyway? The rest of her natural life?
Piper: Yeah. Long enough to be sure she doesn't shove her tongue down the throat of the next delivery guy.
6x03 Dragon's heat

Leo: This is not a little thing.
Piper: Yeah, well, where the hell were you? Why weren't you watching over his every move up there on your lofty perch?
6x03 Dragon's heat

Piper: Wyatt?
Phoebe: What is he doing? Why is he doing that?
Piper: Apparently, he's trying to scare away all of my dates. You little runt. Did your father teach you that?
6x07 Soul sister

Phoebe: Yeah, A date? Really? Does he know about Wyatt?
Piper: No, and he's not gonna anytime soon. At least not till after the honeymoon.
6x07 Soul sister

Phoebe: Didn't Richard lose it the last time he used magic? I mean, like, really lose it?
Piper: Uh, I can assure you that he stayed in complete control over the garbage disposal.
6x08 Charmed in Camelot

Piper: Do I look like I'm drawn to it, pal?
Mordaunt: You will be in time.
Piper: No. I don't have time to play Queen Arthur.
6x08 Charmed in Camelot

Piper: That is not a friend. That's a demon.
Paige: No, he's just a baby!
Piper: 'Scuse me. Were you at the same vanquish as me? Because it took all three of us to stop its mother.
6x09 Hot mammas

Phoebe: It's just that I miss my family.
Piper: Well, that's good 'cause your family misses you, too. I mean, I don't have a lot of people to hang out with aside from my baby who doesn't really say much and then one really neurotic whitelighter.

[AngelPiper1329]

Phoebe: No way. I refuse to believe that Grams ever wore anything this hot.
Piper: Yeah. I figured her more for steel-toed orthopedics, you know, the better to kick your ass with.
6x11 Witchstock

Piper: Ok, new plan. Blast and then bail.
6x13 Used karma

Piper: Yes. Well, that was before Chris informed us that our child was gonna grow up to be the future of all evil.
6x13 Used karma

Piper: I'm confused. How does cleansing her aura get Jason back?
Paige: No, Phoebe didn't cast the spell. Richard did.
Piper: Richard wants Jason back?
6x13 Used karma

Piper: Ok. Reunion later. Slay now.
6x13 Used karma

Piper: I'm talking about our lives. We can't just drop what we're doing every time somebody's head comes rolling down the stairs.
6x14 The legend of sleepy Halliwell

Genie Phoebe: Ah, ah, ah. The wording's not quite right there
Piper: Hey, I don't need a bossy genie on my back.
6x15 I dream of Phoebe

Piper: At least the darklighter waited till after the party to attack. That was nice of him.
6x16 Midnight rendezvous

Piper: Thanks. Uh ... you know, I rather imagined meadows, waterfalls, maybe even a harp.
Leo: Well, this isn't the afterlife. It's a ... place before that to ease the transition.
Piper: Mm-hmm. And lucky us, we're stuck here. That is, until our friendly Darklighter helps us move on permanently.
6x16 Midnight rendezvous

Paige: He's just ... distracted, that's all, by, you know, imminent death. (
Piper: That's no excuse.
6x17 Hyde school reunion

Piper: Uh, he was dying, and I was crying, um ... it's all very complicated.
6x17 Hyde school reunion

Paige: Yes, actually, I did. It's the spider demon, an evil creature that emerges from its hidden lair every 100 years to capture and feed off the most powerful magical being it can detect. In this case, that would be you.
Chris: And me. Sort of.
Piper: You must be so proud.
6x18 Spin city

Chris: No, no, no. I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.
Piper: Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy.
6x18 Spin city Spin city

Prue: I thought that you guys went to dinner.
Piper: We did and then for dessert we did a little demon hunting.
2x21 Apocalypse not

Prue: You have ten seconds to leave on your own.
Piper/Terra: Or what? What are you going to do, hit me with another rhyming couplet?
3x09 Coyote Piper

Paige: Then why am I stuck here reading? I should be learning how to body slam sweaty demons like Phoebe.
Piper: Phoebe's been at this a lot longer than you have, but trust me. Be patient and study hard and one day you will get a big sweaty demon of your own.
4x04 Enter the demon

Cole: I guess I should've seen this coming.
Piper: I want my sisters back, Cole.
Cole: Or what? What are you going to do? You can't vanquish me.
Piper: Doesn't mean I won't try.
5x10 The mummy's tomb

Phoebe: I am sorry, I can't. I'm possessed.
Piper: That is not an excuse!
5x13 House call

Piper: Well, my natural instincts are to panic and besides, every other mother-to-be doesn't have to worry about their child orbing out to Tahiti when they are sent to their room. I don't have a clue.
5x03 Happily ever after

Leo: Are you alright? What happened?
Piper: Before or after you were making out with the demon?
5x04 Siren's song

Cole: Wait, w-wait, you're pregnant?
Piper: Well, I was but now I think Leo is.
5x04 Siren's song

[AngelPiper1329]

Piper: No, Paige, you're a big, fat, unemployed loser who saves the world.
5x06 The eyes have it

Paige: Oh, gross, what are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?
Piper: No, it's "The Joys Of Home Birthing". Strangely I'm not feeling the joy.
5x06 The eyes have it

Piper: So your new and improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us that we're screwed?
5x06 The eyes have it

Piper: Look, warlocks we can handle, demonic ex-husbands we can not.
5x08 A witch in time

Future Piper: Whoa-whoa-whoa, don't panic, I'm not a demon. Okay, I'm
you, obviously, from the future.
Piper: Apparently not very far in the future, I just bought that top.
5x08 A witch in time

Piper: It's not like I can call a service and ask for a nanny to watch over my little Charmed One while I go off and slay slimy demons.
5x09 Daddy dearest

Piper: Are you telling me she's going to evict someone from their own body? That's rude.
5x10 The mummy's tomb

Phoebe: Yeah, I know that but it's still very tempting. I mean, you could fix your plumbing, I could turn some lawyers into toads.
Piper: Aunt Phoebe, little wiccans have very big ears that can hear you.
5x11 The importance of being Phoebe

Paige: Okay, we need a plan.
Piper: Okay, here it is. We go home, we vomit...
5x11 The importance of being Phoebe

Phoebe: What about water birth? Can we do that at home?
Eve: Sure, we can rent a tub.
Piper: What am I, a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.
5x12 Centennial Charmed

Piper: Are you kidding me? With exploding demons and trampling sisters, this place is a disaster area always. I have no idea what it's going to be like when the baby comes.
5x13 House call

Phoebe: Um, what are we supposed to do about my chainsaw killer?
Piper: Oh, don't worry about him, we'll blow him up before he lays a blade on you.
5x14 Sand Francisco dreamin'

Leo: Piper, what are you doing? You can't freeze the shrink, we're on the
clock.
Piper: Yeah, well, forget about the clock, 'cause you know what? We're gonna
need a calendar 'cause this is gonna take months.
5x18 Cat house

Daisy: Who's the sexy beast?
Piper: The beast is married. To me.
5x19 Naughty nymphs

Piper: Well, I guess I'll take your word for it considering you seem to know so much about him. "Enjoys Clark Gable movies", "Favourite dinner: Lamb chops with mint jelly".
Grams: Well, you know me. You never know what could be useful.
Piper: So what do you suggest? That I go to the video store and you get cooking?
5x21 Necromancing the stone

Grams: Oh, don't be so literal. I was just trying to show how much he craves life, the sensuousness of it. Food, drink, sex...
Piper: Don't! I don't wanna hear about a dead demon doing the dirty.
5x21 Necromancing the stone

Phoebe: Okay, so where are we?
Piper: Screwed.
5x22 Oh my goddess, part 1

Piper: I need to talk to my husband. I-I appreciate him becoming a magical folk hero for the masses and all, I really do, but enough is enough
5x22 Oh my goddess, part 1

Piper: We'll take our chances, follow the stench.
Phoebe: How?
Piper: I don't know. Get in touch with your inner fish.
5x01 A witch's tail, part 1

Piper: You know what, Grams? You were a lousy liar when you were alive, and now as a ghost, you're worse.
4x01 Charmed again, part 1

Piper: Oh no, Phoebe? A demon has the Book of Shadows. Oh no doesn't quite cover it.
4x03 Hell hath no fury

[pheebz101]

i loved it when the lil piper and lil prue were argueing like piper and prue were! lol
i cry everytime she crys!!!!!!!

[miraclebaby]

charmedlover1 said:

Piper: u saved me cause im your dam wife when u should have saved prue because she was the strongest."

Good afternoon. ^_^ That's one of my faves!

[no1piperfan]

I have got a few:

Piper: It's not nice to piss off mother nature.
'Oh my Goddess'

Piper: Phoebe, if you love me, you'll send this crazy bastard straight to hell!
'Special Delivery'

Leo: What did I miss?
Piper: ALOT!
'Special Delivery'

Piper: Hey Kudjo, who you growlin' at?
'Look who's barking'

*Piper tries to blow up the siren and makes flowers instead*
Piper: Oh Bad Baby
'Siren song' (I think)

*Cash register shuts on Piper's finger*
Piper: Son of a...!!!
'Once upon a time'

[emsy]

ok, i dont know exactly what she says in the quote- lol, bit pointless posting htis though. but i have a favourite piper quote realted part

At the beginning of season 8 when Piper goes back to the club to fix everything it failed in and she rants on about her whole life and regime to the electrician guy.... I think its the best acted, funniest bit of charmed ive ever seen!