Post by Peanut on Jan 29, 2009 12:34:40 GMT -5
So I thought I'd make a thread here because I'm feeling very bad lately and it's really not good so maybe if I talked about it to people then I could feel a bit better.
My sister wants nothing to do with me and I'm really upset about that. She resents me because of my father's actions and it's not fair - unfortunately it's something I have to live with. I am 18 and turning 19 in September this year. She's turning 38 in May. I once took her spot as my dad's youngest daughter and she will never forgive me for that. She has this little boy called Johs...he's nearly 17 months now. I've never met him or held him and it kills me. Enough about that situation.
School is really bad at the moment because some girls have written some nasty stuff about me on facebook. The principle has seen what has been said and something will be done but I'm still very sad about it. It's really not fair on me and I don't know what to do about it. I've tired ignoring it but it was very mean so I have a hard time letting it go. The guidance counselor has sent me to a shrink now..ha like that'll help.
I'm sad all the time and I'm tired and it doesn't take much to get me angry and frustrated. It's been going on for a while. I've changed so much these past months. Since December 19th where Michelle had her last day at school (I couldn't attend *snort* of course I had to get sick two days before and couldn't go to school) so I didn't get to say bye to Michelle properly at school. Michelle had been hanging out with 3 other people before me and her started talking a lot and 2 of the people couldn't stand the fact that Michelle was spending some time with me rather than them. They were jealous of it. On December 19th, Michelle and the 3 others were meant to go out and eat together and Michelle asked me while they all heard if I wanted to come (date: December 15th) - she wanted me there. One person went "Michelle, can I talk to you in private? Not now, just later on" they spoke later on and Michelle and I were hanging out later that day so she told me that the person had said "Why did you ask her? It was just supposed to be the 4 of us" I was sad about it because I didn't want to split them up or anything. I just wanted to hang out with Michelle. It got worse though and those two people treated me like crap. Michelle moved to England on January 17th to be an au pair. She had a "goodbye party" that I couldn't even attend because of the two people. I came on the day to give her her present and then I left before the others came.
It was very bad at school after Michelle left and I had no one to talk to. I went to the guidance counselor and asked if I could get into the other class - and they let me. I'm relieved now and I started in the class on monday and it's fine so far. I'm much more positive now than I was. A girl called Samantha started talking to me right away and we still talk. I talk to everyone and it's really nice. I have a good feeling about this and I hope it will last. I have people to talk to again and sit next to and I don't feel so lonely anymore. The problem is just that we have PE with my old class. Today was the first time and as I have just started getting used to being in this class around new people who are nicer to be, it wouldn't be good for me to be around all the negative shitheads (yes, they are shitheads) so I had to skip. Not good for my absence percentage but I..just couldn't face them so soon after. I left that class for a reason and that isn't to have anything to do with them again. I have to have PE on wednesday and I will..I just don't know how to react around them. So a lot of stuff has happened. Michelle moved to England. I switched to a different class with nicer people around and I am feeling SO much better now. Kudos to the new class. A girl from the new class has written nasty messages along with two other people from my old class. I'm scared that the two people will poison the new class with their hatred towards me.
Maybe you understand now why I might have a depression..
My sister wants nothing to do with me and I'm really upset about that. She resents me because of my father's actions and it's not fair - unfortunately it's something I have to live with. I am 18 and turning 19 in September this year. She's turning 38 in May. I once took her spot as my dad's youngest daughter and she will never forgive me for that. She has this little boy called Johs...he's nearly 17 months now. I've never met him or held him and it kills me. Enough about that situation.
School is really bad at the moment because some girls have written some nasty stuff about me on facebook. The principle has seen what has been said and something will be done but I'm still very sad about it. It's really not fair on me and I don't know what to do about it. I've tired ignoring it but it was very mean so I have a hard time letting it go. The guidance counselor has sent me to a shrink now..ha like that'll help.
I'm sad all the time and I'm tired and it doesn't take much to get me angry and frustrated. It's been going on for a while. I've changed so much these past months. Since December 19th where Michelle had her last day at school (I couldn't attend *snort* of course I had to get sick two days before and couldn't go to school) so I didn't get to say bye to Michelle properly at school. Michelle had been hanging out with 3 other people before me and her started talking a lot and 2 of the people couldn't stand the fact that Michelle was spending some time with me rather than them. They were jealous of it. On December 19th, Michelle and the 3 others were meant to go out and eat together and Michelle asked me while they all heard if I wanted to come (date: December 15th) - she wanted me there. One person went "Michelle, can I talk to you in private? Not now, just later on" they spoke later on and Michelle and I were hanging out later that day so she told me that the person had said "Why did you ask her? It was just supposed to be the 4 of us" I was sad about it because I didn't want to split them up or anything. I just wanted to hang out with Michelle. It got worse though and those two people treated me like crap. Michelle moved to England on January 17th to be an au pair. She had a "goodbye party" that I couldn't even attend because of the two people. I came on the day to give her her present and then I left before the others came.
It was very bad at school after Michelle left and I had no one to talk to. I went to the guidance counselor and asked if I could get into the other class - and they let me. I'm relieved now and I started in the class on monday and it's fine so far. I'm much more positive now than I was. A girl called Samantha started talking to me right away and we still talk. I talk to everyone and it's really nice. I have a good feeling about this and I hope it will last. I have people to talk to again and sit next to and I don't feel so lonely anymore. The problem is just that we have PE with my old class. Today was the first time and as I have just started getting used to being in this class around new people who are nicer to be, it wouldn't be good for me to be around all the negative shitheads (yes, they are shitheads) so I had to skip. Not good for my absence percentage but I..just couldn't face them so soon after. I left that class for a reason and that isn't to have anything to do with them again. I have to have PE on wednesday and I will..I just don't know how to react around them. So a lot of stuff has happened. Michelle moved to England. I switched to a different class with nicer people around and I am feeling SO much better now. Kudos to the new class. A girl from the new class has written nasty messages along with two other people from my old class. I'm scared that the two people will poison the new class with their hatred towards me.
Maybe you understand now why I might have a depression..