|
Post by blacksheep on Aug 21, 2009 8:10:46 GMT -5
Okay for over a year now I've been helping to support a grandmother and brother who does not respect me and my mom as well as we respect them. My brother is going on 20. I'd like to cut them off without being a bad guy because my bills have gone up but they would rather starve themselves then get any kind of help. My grandmother gets one cheack a month and its gone in a week. What can I do without making them not respect me worse than they already do.
|
|
|
Post by piper113 on Aug 21, 2009 16:24:40 GMT -5
well mabe u could talk to ur brother and grandmother. u could probly get through to them
|
|
|
Post by blacksheep on Aug 25, 2009 8:11:44 GMT -5
I've tried. My grandmother says its all in my head and my brother says that as a result of me being empathic, I'm picking up on the radiowaves of others thoughts and emotions. I know I'm psychic but I can tell the difference between my emotions and my psychic abilities.
|
|
|
Post by MagicalEdgemaster5 on Aug 27, 2009 20:43:51 GMT -5
Well, if there's no way to let them off easy and it comes to the point you absolutely have to cut them off, you should probably just tell them you're through and be done with it. After that, if they start to turn the corner, both on the respect issue and on getting their own lives in order, I'd toss them a little help here and there, but not back to the way it was before. If not, and they fall flat, then they really couldn't be helped either way - you wouldn't be able to truly get their respect or actually help them up anyway if they're not willing to move an inch for themselves in order to make it happen.
|
|
|
Post by blacksheep on Sept 10, 2009 8:33:15 GMT -5
Okay but I've actually done that and they've actually almost starved themselves to death.
|
|
|
Post by MagicalEdgemaster5 on Sept 10, 2009 18:13:11 GMT -5
Like I said, then they really couldn't be helped. Are you gonna wait until you're having a midlife crisis at 53 years old and wishing you had a life when you were young or something?
It sounds to me like you're trying to come up with a way to be soft and easy about cutting them off, but it's hard because everything you've tried that's soft and easy doesn't register to them and they respond to anything rock hard by saying "I quit". So either way, what it still comes down to is they are not going to wake up and smell the coffee, so you will at some point eventually have to either cut them off and not look back or brace yourself to spend your whole life taking care of them (or at least your brother) thanklessly.
|
|
|
Post by piper113 on Sept 18, 2009 21:31:51 GMT -5
ya just let them off
|
|
|
Post by Angel Storm on Jan 29, 2010 16:48:49 GMT -5
Now isn't this nice, mommy and bro wont get off they high horses and get a real life.. oh wait, thats granny..
Nice...
|
|
|
Post by tucansamm7 on May 18, 2010 22:47:37 GMT -5
my mom is going through the same thing right now and she has been sense she was a child. If you don't cut them off now you'll never be able to in the end you'll end up hating them and ultimately your self. I know its hard cause family is everything but the simple fact is that they wont learn till they hit rock bottom. When hey let there selves starve its simply because they know you wount let them cut them off completely get mad and show them that your not a dormat. Simple facts are there playing when its your turn raise the bet. If you half to make it to where they don't have another choice ell them there something wrong with your money house and whatever else it is there mooching off. The only way to deal with people like them is to get pissed.
|
|
|
Post by charmedforever213 on May 6, 2011 16:22:51 GMT -5
this is hard situation as they are family, but you needed to look after yourself and your mother and there is no need to live in that kind of situation, i think the best thing to do is slowly cut them off, limit how often you go over there and how often you help, being there less and less and this will result in A they will learn to be self efficient B become nicer towards u and your mother in order to get your help back and to be honest these people will not really let themselves die, they will help themselves they just want it easy and to not have to work for it, but i gaurentee they would feed themselves. good luck
|
|