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Post by PiperHalliwellP3 on May 22, 2006 20:10:57 GMT -5
This may be wierd, the advice columnist needing help, but I guess we all need a little help once in a while. Anyone could answer this one!!
I have this friend...we used to be really tight. We were like sisters...we did EVERYTHING together. Then we started drifting apart. We started liking different things, but not so much that we couldn't talk...but I guess she got mad. You see, I go to a very small private school. We have clicks, but they aren't like 'jocks', 'nerds', 'plastics'...it's more like the best friends. And Her, my other friend, and I were a group. And we used to sit by eachother at lunch everyday. Then, one day, she didn't. She sat at a totally different table! And quit talking to us!! She never comes around us, or even talks to us anymore. I don't know why! She didn't approach us, or confront us, one day she just left. What should I do? I really miss hanging around with her, and I think she might too, because she is always looking over at us. Help needed!
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Post by AngelPiper1329 on May 22, 2006 20:20:07 GMT -5
well im not the best person to give advice but i will try.Try pulling her aside when you have the chance and asking her what happened or what went wrong and if you guys somehow made her mad and if so what was it.If she doesn't respond or she walks away try writing her a note and slipping it to her somehow write how you feel and hoe your other friend feels and also how much you miss her ask her to write you back and just let her know that whatever happened you will try your hardest to work things out if she gives it a chance.If that doesn't work then i don't know what will But im pretty sure one or both will.Hope i helped,let me know how it goes.
Love Always AngelPiper1329(moderator)
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Post by CharmingAngel on May 22, 2006 20:51:06 GMT -5
Hi!!! I go through this more than I change my t-shirt. This is always what I do: Just ask your friend what's wrong. Don't let her leave until you talk, and at the LEAST understand what's wrong. Explain to her that it is totally unfair to do that to you. Sometimes, it's just that the girl needs space. Or, she's simply just growing up, or trying to understand where she stands in life. I know it's hard. If she's ready to let go, I know this seems wrong, but sweetie, sometimes you just have to take a step down. It's all you can do if that's the case. but, if she's willing to talk, than you should talk!
crazyphoebe
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Post by PiperHalliwellP3 on May 22, 2006 21:15:44 GMT -5
Thanks for all your help! Anyone else?
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Post by Drago Halliwell on May 22, 2006 22:57:55 GMT -5
Im going to have to agree with angelpiper. Take your friend to the side and talk to her...ask her what the change is and why you all stopped being so close. Now, with me, Im the shoulder to cry on. If a friend of mine needs someone to talk to, I will talk to them. Try talking to her and you may find out something you didnt exactly expect her to say or think.
Yours Always, Drago Halliwell, your fellow Advice Columnist
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Post by faithsangel on May 23, 2006 13:04:20 GMT -5
Everyone here as already answered exactly how I would! You need to talk to her Gem x
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Post by CharmingAngel on May 23, 2006 15:56:33 GMT -5
Sorry that I kinda said what angelpiper did, didn't mean to!!
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Post by chaseme101 on May 23, 2006 16:55:46 GMT -5
This is the story of my life. Only im not u, im the ur friend who walked away. When ever i do something like that its my little way of saying "I need attention!!". Now i dont know all about ur group but i am the damaged one. I can expect nothing but the ocational check from my parents so for anything emotional period i go to them. If I feel like they are starting to drift away from me then i remind them how much i need them. Maybe she is just being me and is waiting for you to come give her a hug and tell her that ur still her best friend, no matter what.
And I think this might help too. Our group of 5 girls could not possible be more different. But we always say that it is our divercity and our quorks that keep us together, that and the fact we need eachother more than air. Good luck, i hope things get better with ur girl <3
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Post by PiperHalliwellP3 on May 23, 2006 17:39:11 GMT -5
Hey Everyone,
I approached my friend, and asked her if I did something to offend her, and she just said she was sick of being the third wheel. I don't really know what she is talking about. She is always included. I'm not the type of person to kiss up to her, if she just walked away from me. She knows where I am, when she's ready to talk, I will listen....
Thanks for all of your help! You guys are great!! Anyone elses POV?
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Post by chaseme101 on May 23, 2006 19:24:15 GMT -5
Like i said, attention. She was feeling left out and neglected so she walked off. Ill bet u anything all shes looking for is a little love and she will apoligise for being so drastic. EXSPIRENCE!!! Im telling ya, its whats going through her head.
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Post by CharmingAngel on May 23, 2006 19:59:27 GMT -5
Being the third wheel feels like being imprisoned in hell. And I bet it sucks for you if she's not really the third wheel. But if maybe you ask her to try it over and make it better for her, it'll work for you too. .
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Post by Drago Halliwell on May 24, 2006 20:02:56 GMT -5
Being the third wheel means that the person is more or less like a servant. They are the ones that do for the others. I should know...I have been treated like that since I was in Kindergarden and Im going to be a Senior next school year. It might be the fact that for some odd reason, she got it in her head that she was being used and thats what caused this to happen. Talk to her about it and tell her that she isnt being used. Tell her that she was always included.
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Post by PiperHalliwellP3 on May 25, 2006 12:26:34 GMT -5
A third wheel is for example. A group of 3 friends. 2 of the friends are always talking and they don't talk about anything else, or to anyone else. They leave the third person out, and they are just following along. That's a third wheel.
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Post by piperluver68 on May 26, 2006 6:52:03 GMT -5
k, ive had the almost EXACT same problem with one of my friends. Your friend probably is trying to find the "cool click". Eventually she will find one. She'll hang out with them and think that they're all really good friends and continue to blow you off. One day, her new friends will betray her in some way. Hopefully, she'll realize that they don't care about her and she come back and sit with you at lunch because she knows she can depend on you and trust you. At that point, she'll need some comforting so show you still care and want her back as a friend by comforting her. Until then, let her do her own thing. It wont be easy, tryst me, but you can do it. Along the way, drop some little hints to her that shows you still care. Smile to her when passing by, send her a card on her birthday, things like that. Hopefully, she'll realize that she needs to come back and be friends with you. Good luck and Blessed Be. oops, i forgot the most importqant advice, dumb me, befor letting her go off and doing her own thing, make sure you haven't done somthing to set her off. Talk to her, hug her, bring cookies, whatever it takes. If she still ignores you, THEN let her do her own thing. (sorry, i just accidently copied like half you guys! Sorry!)
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Post by PiperHalliwellP3 on May 30, 2006 13:53:59 GMT -5
Thanks so much for everyones help! You guys are life-savers!
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